Thailand: Phuket

Part 1 of a few installments on Thailand..

Finding Nemo (or alternatively Glenn)

I arrive in Phuket on Thursday in good health after giving up alcohol for a couple days. Now I’ve done my research and when you get out of the airport you’re supposed to use the official taxi drivers, because they won’t try and scam you. So, like the genius I am, I walk past all the scammers to the official taxi stand and ask for a taxi. The guy tells me that it’s going to be a half hour wait.. screw that! So back to the scammers I go. Turned out fine.. they stop at a place along the way and a person walks up to the car and tries to sell you accommodation, tours etc. After reconfirming 10 or so times that I have already booked a hostel and every possible tour, they leave me alone and on to the hostel In Patong we go.

I arrive at those hostel and... OMG it's Glenn:

Naturally we immediately commence drinking. This sets the scene for the next 4 days in Patong. Bangla Rd is the source of all the discount debauchery one could ever want. Because drinking is so cheap here, even the poorest of backpackers can, and do, party each and every night. Like these guys:

Shopping Thai style

Shopping is fun here, because you can bargain them down 30-40% on most things. The sales process goes like this - They start with their price, then you offer them an unreasonably low price, just so they know you’re ready for battle. Finally both parties agree that they're being ridiculous and you end up meeting somewhere in the middle.

Massage?

Life in Patong involves constant harassment by Thais trying really hard to sell you anything that is sellable. Massage? Taxi? Suit?

The massage girls are particularly in your face and often hunt in groups of 5 or more. They will call out ‘Massage?’ in perfect synchronisation and god help you if you glance in their direction.. they will fire ‘Massage?’ at you like a machine gun and often physically get in your way, so you have to pretty much push them out of the way.

There is also a massive oversupply of taxis here. Most of them are tuk-tuks – little pickup trucks (utes) with benches in the back to sit on.

A bucks party in Thailand

On day 3, Glenn and I attended Maiko’s bucks party. Because Mum is probably reading this, there is nothing more I can say about this, other than: ‘What is seen cannot be unseen’.

Summary

Awesome:

Partying, beaches, prices

Craptacular:

'Massage? Massage? Massage?'.. no I don't want a f**king massage!

What's Next

Koh Phangan. Translation: full moon party mayhem