Old people ruin everything
Koh Samui is kinda a lot like the other developed islands of Thailand. There are many laws, which no-one follows:
But there is one main difference: OLD PEOPLE. There are many of these aged creatures roaming around Koh Samui. I blame these old people for the following three problems:
- Old people have money and aren't cheap like us backpackers. Therefore the price of everything in Koh Samui is higher than in the other islands.
- Old men still think speedos are in fashion. They are not. Especially if you're old.
- Old ladies where bikinis. They should not. And after seeing so many unbelievably hot girls in previous Thailand beaches, seeing a 60 year old lady in bikini hits home hard. It really hurts my eyes.
Not all Thai girls are prostitutes
So on arriving in Koh Samui, I immediately share a taxi to the hostel with German's Marvin and Marcus. Marcus decides to have a nap which lasts the entire night, whilst me and Marvin power through some Gilbeys Vodka, which is about half the price of the other Vodkas on sale, which means it is probably of questionable quality. It claims to be triple distilled, but I'm pretty sure someone just saw that written on a Smirnoff bottle and copied it, thinking it must be a good thing.
Anyway, me and Marvin decide to go out clubbing (as you do). Two Thai girls approach us, interested to meet us. We immediately and profusely accuse them of being prostitutes with violent shakes of the head and phrases such as: "We no cash", "We no want prostitutes". They are offended by our insinuation, and response with 'We do not want cash", "We are not prostitutes". Note firstly that the English was actually better than ours.
Despite their claims, we continue to disbelieve for quite some time. Eventually, me and Marvin have discussions, and after weighing up the evidence, come to the conclusion that these girls are in fact the 1% of Thai girls that aren't prostitutes. Anyway, this was a good decision, as they showed us all the best clubs to go to and even drove us back to the hostel. The drive back should have been about 10 minutes, but it was actually more like 2 hours, since we had no idea how to get back. No goods or services were exchanged, so I think we can safely conclude: Not all Thai girls are prostitutes.
Everybody hurts sometimes
After some more drinking adventures the next night, British Mike enthusiastically wakes me up early the next morning to go scootering around Koh Samui. As anyone that knows me knows, I'm not a morning person, so I'm not too pleased about this. But eventually, me, Mike, Marvin and Marcus head off on scooters. This was mostly an awesome day. We trekked a little up to a waterfall:
Then we rode to Chaweng beach for a swim:
(Pretend there is a picture of the beach here)
And then leaving the beach, Marcus crashed his scooter.. so off to hospital we go. We waited in the hospital for 3 or 4 hours while Marcus got his wounds bandaged. This turned out to be not so bad, as we got to watch an awesome Thai soap opera. It's like Neighbours, but instead of fighting with words, they fight with fists and guns. Once Marcus was fixed, we headed back to the hostel for a quiet night in.
The next day I was off to Koh Samui airport. It's such a cool airport. The departure gate is more like a big hut, and the toilets even have a fish tank inside:
Summary
Awesome:
Scootering, beaches, Thai soap operas
Craptacular:
Prices, old people
What's Next
Chiang Mai for some culture (with a dash of partying)
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