India: Udaipur, Jaipur, Agra, Delhi

After the craziness of the bus fire, I took it easy in my first day in Udaipur. Firstly, I found myself a place for lunch. The owners were quite friendly and asked me if I knew anything about computers, because they had just bought one. These guys had never used a computer, so I had to start with the bare basics. A couple hours later, I had set them up with a Gmail account, and explained how to do such things as copy and paste, which was just fascinating to them. Because I had helped them, they offered to teach me how to make some Indian dishes, which sounded interesting to me, so I returned the next morning ready to cook. Whatever I cooked was going to be my lunch, so I had ample motivation not to screw up. I cooked some chipati bread:

and also a couple curries, including my favourite – chicken tikka masala:

It was delicious!

Next, I was off to do some sightseeing. Udaipur is quite a nice city, owing to the fact that for a period, the Kings here went nuts building themselves awesome palaces.  I went and visited a few palaces, like the Monsoon Palace.

There’s also some really nice Lake Palaces here:

The city palace is also quite impressive. You had to pay for the privilege to take photos here, but being the bad boy that I am, I didn’t pay and still took this picture, among others:

I took a walk around that night as well, and everytime I walked past someone’s house, the children would run out and try and convince me to come into their house. Of course I didn’t do this, as they were clearly going to try and rob me.

That night I got the bus to Jaipur, which is a bigger city, also renowed for it’s palaces. The next day I got up and went to find food, and also went to the train station to check if it would be possible to get a ticket to Agra in the upcoming days. By the time I had done these two things, I had decided that I immediately wanted to leave this city. There was so much traffic around, everyone was hassling me, no-one was even midly helpful, people kept pushing in front of me at the train station. Everyone just generally walked so freaking slow. Rah!!!! So I got on the first bus the next day to Agra.

I think it’s fair to say Agra would have zero tourists if it weren’t for a building called the Taj Mahal. But I actually didn’t mind the city at all. The people were friendlier here and it wasn’t ridiculously busy. But still, naturally, I went straight to the Taj Mahal:

I was supposed to go to Varanasi next, but after finding out it would take two buses, I decided I wasn’t going to bother. By this stage I was power travelling, doing nearly a city a day, because really, I wanted to get out of this country quickly. I instead decided I would spend one night in Delhi, and then fly to Dubai.

In order to get one more authentic Indian experience (dumb idea), I decided to get the local bus from Agra to Delhi. It was ridiculously cheap, but not surprisingly incredibly uncomfortable. Pretty sure I was only minutes away from getting Deep Vein Thrombosis. Also, it was more the 40 degrees, and of course there was no AC. However, this was an interesting experience. At two points in the trip, a guy jumped on the bus and tried to sell some product. The first guy was selling some ‘miracle pills’. I’m not sure what he was saying about them, because he was speaking Hindi (well not English anyway), but a few people bought them. Next, a guy jumped on the bus trying to sell this device that helps you squeeze the juice out of a lemon (or other fruit). This thing was frikin awesome! I was so impressed that I wanted to buy one, until I remembered that I probably don’t juice lemons all that often.

Anyway, I got to Delhi late afternoon for my last night in India. I found what appeared to be a good restaurant, and got one final curry. It was delicious. A couple hours later though, I started feeling really sick and I realised that I had food poisioning. This was particularly annoying because I had gotten though nearly 4 weeks in India, without once getting sick, and it was my last meal that got me. Also, this was probably the most expensive and fancy restaurant I had been to in India, so I really didn’t suspect their food would be suspect.

Anyway, suffice to say I pretty much didn’t sleep that night. The next day at 12pm it was time to check out. My flight wasn’t until that night though, and I could barely even move, so I lugged myself downstairs and asked if I could stay in my room for another 5 hours. He said I could if I paid for another night. I began my sob story about how incredibly ill I was, and he got sick of listening to me, so he offered the room to me for half the normal price. At this point, since I was on my legs, I decided I should maybe try and eat something. I purchased exactly three bananas, which would be my breakfast, lunch and dinner that day.

I started thinking about cancelling my flight, as I was shaking so much that I was struggling to hold on to the banana I was eating. But like any cheap backpacker, I was never going to throw away a $250 flight ticket, so like Noah in the bible, I took two of every drug in existence and went to the airport (well that would be the modern equivalent of Noah’s Ark). I was pretty week and spaced out when I got to the airport, so it took me an eternity to check-in and walk to the customs area. I was hoping the customs line would be short, because I was about due for a vomit, and it was, but they were taking their sweet time. I finally got to the front of the line and thought there was hope I would make it to a bathroom to vomit, but the guy took so long and I had to vomit immediately. I had a paper bag, but it leaked all over the floor. I apologised, took my passport and continued on. After this I felt OK for the first part of the fight, but then suddenly I needed to vomit again. The food carts were out, and there wasn’t much time, so I navigated the obstacle course and made it to the bathroom just in time. At this point, I asked the hostess if I could get prime seating next to the bathroom, and she obliged. The Indian guy I was now sitting next to said he was a doctor, and told me that the best thing I could do would be to drink beer. I was somewhat sceptical about his credentials, as he was talking about financial investments a lot. Eventually he handed me his business card, and it proved he was a doctor.. a Doctor of Philosophy (Ph. D). Not quite the same as an MD.

After the flight landed, even the pilot came to check on me. I think the staff were just relieved I didn’t die on them, because it probably looked like I was going to. It was possibly the greatest moment of my life when I finally checked in to my hotel in Dubai.

So I’m now finished with India, both literally and figuratively. Of the 20 odd countries I’ve been to, this is the only country that I don't really want to go back to. Most of the people I met that have been to India loved it, and it has become clear to me that I went to the wrong places, but still, India is not really my sort of place. There is very little I like about Indian culture to be totally honest. Having said that, I absolutely don’t for a second regret going there, as it is the only country I’ve been to where I felt like I was truly travelling. All the other countries I have been to cater to tourists, but not India. I experienced more in India, then in the entire rest of my trip. I guess the problem is, most of those experiences were not fun experiences, albeit eye-opening. Anyway, a few people have since asked me if they should travel to India, and I’ve always said that if you’re doing a long trip, you should go for the experience. If you’re doing a short trip, close your eyes, point at a random country on a map, and go there. It will probably be more fun than India. Unless you’re pointing at India, in which case you should have another go. 

Summary

Awesome:

Palaces and people in Udaipur, and of course the Taj Mahal

Craptacular:

Indian local buses, and of course the kind of violent food poisoning you could only get in India.

What's Next

Back to some semblance of civilisation. Where everything is the best in the world... Dubai!