India: Chennai

I arrived in Chennai, India, completely unprepared as always. This didn’t bother me, but it did bother customs. They found it hard to believe that someone would arrive in Chennai alone, with no contacts, no hotel booked and no idea where they were going next. I explained to them that this is simply the result of my lazy, optimistic, chillinistic (probably not a word) way of travelling. They let me through.

The dude at the information desk sorted out a hotel for me, which not surprisingly was crap. It had only a fan (no A/C), which is somewhat of a problem when the minimum temperature at night is above 30 degrees. What’s even more of a problem is the electricity going out twice during the night, meaning no fan. It was also ridiculously dirty and rundown, had a barely functioning shower.. you get the drift.

The next morning, completely unrefreshed, I decided I needed to go to the city, hoping to find a way out of this hell-hole. As I walked out of the hotel, I got a feel for what I was going to encounter in India. Auto-rickshaws (tuk-tuks) loudly chugging away, rubbish all over the street, cows just wandering the streets. Here’s a picture that roughly sums it up:

I walked to the train station and noticed there was a massive queue to buy tickets, so I promptly gave up on that idea:

.. and got a taxi. The taxi very very slowly got me to the city, where I saw a Vodafone building. I decided to get an Indian sim card, so I could get internet on my phone. This was generally doable, except I needed to nominate a friend to be a personal reference, and the person had to be Indian. I said I had a friend outside, and went outside and asked my taxi driver to be my reference. He didn’t know what I was talking about. However, some random overheard me and happily agreed to come in and be my reference. The Vodafone guy wasn’t too pleased about my newfound friendship, but allowed it.

Next, the taxi driver dropped me off in a random part of the city. I was glad to get out, as he was an annoying taxi driver. He had talked the whole time about how I was part of his family, and Jesus loved me etc. He had also stopped at a clothing shop, when I had specifically told him I didn’t want this. I opened my wallet to give him his money, and he noticed a 100 note. This was a 100 Thai Baht note. He asked me if he could have that. He had previously asked me what country I was from, and also the conversion rate from Australian dollars to rupees, so I guessed that he thought it was a $100 Australian note. I held up the note and explained to him many many times that it was Thailand money, not Australian money, and it was worth less than the fare. He was so blind with greed though, that he virtually snatched it out of my hand, and tried to coax me out of the taxi before I thought to get it back. I gave up and walked away. He’s going to get one hell of a surprise when he goes to the currency exchange and gets the equivalent of $3 back.

I found myself an internet café. It had two fans, apparantely none of which worked, so in 40+ degree heat, I searched for a way out of Chennai. The trains were full and the bus company wouldn’t accept my credit card. I also tried to purchase tickets to an IPL (cricket) game online. This also failed. I gave up and booked a flight to Hyderabad.

In this internet café, I also got my first glimpse into the popularity of cricket here. They sold two brands of pen, but how would one choose which pen was the best? Let’s investigate. The Reynolds ‘Racer Gel II’ pen is endorsed by Sachin Tendulkar, who has been the most popular Indian cricketer for quite some time:

Must be a damn good pen.

However, the Cello ‘Flo-Gel’ pen is endorsed by MS Dhoni, the captain of the Indian cricket team, who has shot to stardom and is arguably as popular as Sachin now:

Must be a damn good pen as well. Anyway, I only trust pens endorsed by Shane Warne, so I purchased neither.

I went out and found myself an Indian restaurant to eat at. I’m not sure there’s any other type in Chennai. The food was the only good thing about this city. This was my first taste of Indian food in India, and it is simply delicious, and also very cheap. I was careful to ask for my curry to be mild, and it was still pretty spicy by Western standards.

Chennai was also the first place I witnessed a few of the many strange oddities of Indian culture. There's not enough space on the internet to list all of them, so I'll just write what comes into my head first:

First is the no head shake that means yes. I asked an Indian guy if he knew where something was. He said yes, but shook his head. I was confused. Instead of shaking the head horizontally left and right, it was more like a wave motion. This wave motion means yes. This took some getting used to.

Secondly, I watched an Indian eat. It’s a simlar sight to watching a 1 yr old eat. Using only his right hand, he ate his curry and rice dish. Half of it ended up on his hands and face. Thankfully it seems a lot of Indians don’t eat this way.

Thirdly, I noticed how gay Indians appear to be. Adult men will hold hands to cross the road. If seated next each other, they will often put their arms around each other, or one will lie on the other. Basically, they appear more gay than most gay people. However, they’re not actually.

Fourthly, they spit. Anywhere they want, any time they want. Not pretty.

Fifthly, they’re always covered. Men always wear long pants and a shirt. Women, a sari. How I don’t know, because it’s unbelievably hot outside.

Sixthly, Indians have no concept of queing. If you are waiting to be served by someone, Indians will nonchalantely push in front of you.

Anyway, suffice to say I suffered from some culture shock when I first got to India.

Summary

Awesome:

The food.

Getting the confirmation email of my flight out of this place.

Craptacular:

Everything except the food.

What's Next

Hyderabad - cricket time!