Vietnam: Hanoi & Ha Long Bay

I flew from Laos to Hanoi, Vietnam a broken man. Injured and sick, I booked myself a hotel room for 2 nights just to relax and recooperate. My first impressions of Hanoi weren’t good. Thick smoke, run down buildings.. it’s not a nice drive from the airport. The hotel though was incredible for $6 / night. The owner was clearly trying to make a good impression. When I woke up the first ‘morning’ at 1pm, he asked if I wanted my free breakfast. I did, but I said no, because I felt guilty claiming my free breakfast 3 or 4 hours later than breakfast was supposed to end. Nonetheless, when I sat down at the computer to research what I was going to do that day, he appeared with bananas and pineapples.

After consuming my fruits, I headed to Ho Chi Minh museum. Ho Chi Mihn is roughy equivalent to God in Vietnam. Everyone loves him, because he was instrumental in achieving independence for Vietnam and reunifying North and South Vietnam. The museum had very abstract exhibits, which had nothing to do with Ho Chi Mihn, but were quite impressive.. well mostly.

Here’s an impressive structural exhibit:

Here’s an impressive painting:

Here’s a drawing in the renowned style of David Vella:

Here’s a similar drawing of well.. something..

After leaving the museum, I purchased more fruit from a lady on the street, then stole her fruit holding apparatus for the sake of a photo:

I then flagged down a taxi to go back to the hotel. The taxi driver turned on his meter and started talking to me. He was very friendly, which is usually a sign that something bad is, or is about to happen. After maybe 3 or 4 minutes I looked at the meter, to see that it was already at 300,000 dong (around $15) and turning over at a furious rate. The whole trip should have cost $5 at most and I was less than halfway back to the hotel. I told the driver that when I got back to the hotel, I was going to ask the owner what a fair price was for the trip, and if the meter was over it I would call the police. At this threat he stopped the meter, but refused to drive right up to the hotel. After three times trying to get me out of the taxi, he eventually dropped me in front of the hotel. By this stage he was getting extremely angry, so I gave him 200,000 dong (around $10) and walked away. I had memorised his name and number to report to the police, but promptly forgot it and couldn’t be bothered reporting it anyway.. I’m sure the police don’t care enough to deal with it.

The next day I then went to the Army museum, only to be told by a tuk-tuk driver that it was closed, but he could take me somewhere that was open. Seen that trick before buddy! I told him he was full of shite and walked to the entrance and low and behold it actually was closed. My pride shattered, I went back to him and got in his tuk-tuk.

That night, I went to a Vietnamese water puppet show, which is basically a musical involving puppets in water:

Problem is, the music was crap and it was all in Vietnamese, so I had no idea what was going on. The puppets were mildly entertaining though, and despite eyeing off the well-lit ‘Exit’ sign a few times, I stayed to the end.

Now I was somewhat recovered, and it was time to be one with the backpackers again. I checked into a hostel and booked their Halong Bay tour. Halong Bay is quite a beautiful bay surrounded by limestone cliffs:

This was a booze cruise though and the tour guide was handing us drinks from the moment we got on the boat. We briefly went kayaking to some caves, then returned to the boat for further drinking. Our group was very tame however compared to the other boats, where everyone ended up naked and doing all sorts of crazy things.

Summary

Awesome:

Ha Long Bay

Craptacular:

Hanoi - boring and scammers abound

What's Next

Central Vietnam - where the old historic stuff is.

Laos

Possibly the greatest threat to my survival, it was time for Laos. I only cared about one place here, Vang Vieng, the home of river tubing madness. I flew to Vientiane and then got the bus to Vang Vieng. The bus ride is 4 hours of probably the worst road I’ve ever seen. It’s technically a sealed road, but there’s so many potholes that you pretty much have to hold on to something to not get thrown around the bus.

It’s worth the trip though.. Vang Vieng is outrageous fun. You hire a tube, get transported to the top of the river and tube your way down. On the way there are bars on either side of the river. They throw out ropes which you can grab on to and they will pull you in to the bar. Each bar offers you a free shot on arrival and a string bracelet as a momento of your visit to the bar. These string bracelets gain you street cred, and people proudly wear them around in Laos and often in countries they visit next. Many people end up tubing day after day for up 2 weeks and they have the bracelets, injuries and illnesses to prove it.

Here's me pre-tubing:

I ended up in Vang Vieng for 6 days I think. Three of those days I was tubing, the other three recovering. I picked up quite the collection of ailments whilst there. To be precise, I left Vang Vieng with 6 band aids on me. One of the cuts on my right leg got infected and swelled up a fair bit. My left big toe, which I injured in Bangkok, received further damage as well. So I reached a state where I wasn’t sure which leg to limp on. Also, I picked up a flu toward the end of my time in Laos.

Despite the injuries, the tubing seemed reasonably safe. The river was quite shallow when I was there; shallow enough that you could see a few of the rocks poking out. They had taken down all the rope swings and high platforms, which I think are responsible for most of the fatalities (27 last year apparently). There was one point though where I capsized from my tube and was somewhat struggling against the current, which was very weak. Luckily, Emma (who I met in Bangkok and happened to be in Laos) threw me a rope and some Lao boy, jumped in and pulled me to safety.

Here's another random picture I have of me. As the photo clearly indicates, I was in a hammock, drinking out of a bucket at the time the photo was taken:

I also happened to be there during Laos New Year. The Loatians (if that’s the correct term for Laos people) are smarter than us and have managed to stretch the new year into a 3 day holiday. You have the last day of the old year, a day which is neither in the old nor new year, and then new years day. During the new year, all the locals arm themselves with buckets and water pistols and throw or shoot water all over you as you walk down the street. Also, at one stage, I got invited to sit around with some locals and they cooked me a variety of meats on the BBQ, as well as providing me with Laos beer. Another odd consequence of it being the New Year period was that bars weren’t allowed to play music on the days leading up to the New Year. No idea why this is the case, but It’s just plain weird being at a bar with no music I think.

Also, there’s a pizza story somewhere in here, which only Liane witnessed, and which shall not be told. Speaking of Liane, Vang Vieng was also the last time I would see her. Without really trying, we had somehow managed to always be heading to the same place at the same time and so we pretty much started travelling together. Farewell Liane.. this soldier will battle the world alone once more, armed only with Wikitravel and Hostelworld.

Summary

Awesome:

Drink-tubing

Craptacular:

6 cuts, 1 infection, 1 flu. The price you pay for the awesomeness mentioned above.

What's Next

Vietnam.. you may know this place from such wars as the Vietnam War.